you thought it was gone for good (O, ye of little faith!) , but here comes...
diary of a certified moron III
blogger's note: for the love of God (and for convenience sake) i will refrain from embellishing my words with sTiCkY cApS and assorted ornaments such as "xXxX" and type in a proper, respectable fashion. so this would be how a cultured idiot (what an oxymoron) sounds. before proceeding, please take the time to read the disclaimer at the extreme left. i will also add that the following content is entirely a work of fiction and not to be taken seriously. failure to take heed will only result in unhappiness and tragedy.
dear diary,
i've been quite busy with all the events going on but i have finally managed to find time to update you on my life. featured most prominently would be my acceptance into council. yeah! i got in! my belief that i am truly popular here in *jc has been reaffirmed. *jc rocks! thank you all so much for loving me and voting for me. i will try my best to uphold democracy based on justice and equality so as to achieve happiness, properity and progress for our jc. thank you! thank you all!
so recently i've been prowling the school grounds in a bid to catch all delinquents who do not don the school collar pin. yes, i do fancy myself as the quasher of all rule-breakers. adam king told me that someone has to do it, so why not me? adam king is such a inspiration. he should run for the presidency of the UN. i want to rid the world of evil and to do that, i have to start small. a friend once told me that adam king isn't a real person. what a fool. adam king is as real as i am tall dark and handsome. anyhoo, just the other day i caught several students without the collar pin and i must say i handled the confrontation really well. all you fellow councillors should take a leaf from my book. and to assist and guide you in the ways of myself, i will carefully list out the steps i took.
reprimanding students for improper school attire 101:
firstly, i approached them with a stern but kindly face - oh! i've just remembered i've got a picture of myself with a stern and kindly face. i like taking self-portraits, you see. it's because of my narcissism. and i do think i am rather the suave gentleman. here you go!
quite a good shot, i must say. i find visual aids so helpful, don't you? you should understand that first impression always counts, so with this demeanor i am telling those hoodlums that i am not to be messed around with and this is not a joke. queer though, they broke out into raucous laughter at the sight of my stern-but-kindly face. secondly, i told them that the proper school attire includes wearing the collar pin. unfortunately, i cannot go on to the third step as at this point the riff-raff walked away, still laughing. they really must be beyond the control of a higher authority. but i shall take it all in my stride, for these are all the sufferings a student councillor must endure!
yes and regarding that girl who keeps blogging about me, i do wish she'd stop it. but i thought about it and i figured out the best way to fight back! so i told everyone on my msn list, classmates, schoolmates and fellow councillors alike, to visit her blog and also put her url as part of my nickname k3k3xXx! (blogger's note: sorry, i just could not resist that one) some people did not reply me but i guess they must be aghast how someone can detest me so much. i don't blame them. after all, i am infinitely hip. this girl is only jealous of my coolness. ha ha! i bet she's horrified by all the negative publicity. she will learn to fear my power as aprawnmushroomcouncillor! but other than that girl, i do believe that i am quite well-liked in class. so yay! this is a gargantuan improvement from my days in secondary school.
i have to go now, mom's yelling at me to take out the trash. |
